The Perfect Dinner: Chopped Edgar with Urabe Salsa
by El Dreadful Reaper
Summary: What the title says. What happens when you hang around an old meat-house with your love and a psychopathic madman chases you? A single jump and you're free but fail, you die. do you survive? Of course not, you die. how? Read and find out... 777 words, lucky number.


**Sender: Yukio Sakura**

**Target: Edgar Valtinas**  
**Death Zone: Meat processing plant.**  
**Companion: Urabe Rika**  
**Additional info: uhh?**

**_Loading, please wait…_** **_Loading characters…_**

**_Loading world…_**

**_Loading sequence…_**

**_Loading complete_**

**_Sequence initiate…_**

**_Press any key to continue…_**

* * *

**Minced meat with blood sauce: Edgar and Urabe**

**Somewhere in Florida meat packing district, America**

Many Many years later after the FFI, Edgar and Rika fell in love with each other. Both of them ran away from the bustle of Japan where all the bad memories rested and moved to Florida to live together. Nobody remembered them. Nobody cared for them anymore. They were living together in an apartment in the Florida meatpacking district.

One day, when they were having fun and walking around together, they got a wrong idea. Which is- to have fun inside a warehouse.

It was sometime after the evening. They found a nice big warehouse and got the wrong idea.

They skillfully snuck past the guards who were sleeping instead of doing their duty.

They went further inside and found a nice place to start. It was near a cliff where a meat-processing machine stood exactly underneath the precipice.

Just as they were about to start, the snuggling, a mad butcher randomly appeared from nowhere and yelled, "HEY YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Edgar yelled, "Oh shit! We have to get outta here!"

Saying that, he grabbed Urabe's hand and started running for it while the mad butcher was chasing them with a bloody cleaver and chopping off anything that came in his way.

He managed to chop some portions of Edgar's and Urabe's hair which was flying as they were running. At sometime, Edgar managed to throw a box at the madman, which stunned him and gave them time to escape. But it was a dead end. There was a gap between the platforms they were standing in and the platform, which was on the other side. And there was a large meat-mincing machine in between them.

"Oww… waddo we do now 'oneybunch?! We 'r gonna die." Screamed Urabe as she was sounding like a ten year old.

"No we won't, we just have to jump and we are home free."

"How can we jump somefink that 'ar 'way?!"

"It's better to try than having a slaughterer chopping our head off!"

"I g'ess! 'oneybunch, you go 'irst, I follow ya!"

"Okay!" Edgar took a deep breath and started praying, then jumped and landed successfully at the other platform.

And yelled Urabe to jump. By that time, the madman was free and started proceeding towards them. By pressure, Urabe jumped but failed to land but Edgar managed to catch her arm and he was trying his best to pull his love over before the weirdo reached them.

That's when a spear flew through Urabe's head and came out of her mouth. Horrified Edgar realized that it was no use so he dropped Urabe into the machine and watched in horror as Urabe turned into a bloody pulp of minced meat and her blood coated it like tomato ketchup. It was looking like salsa seasoning

Then Edgar started making funny faces at the madman comprehending that it was his victory but at a small price of his loved one's soul.

But that's when nightmare struck. He was defying the will of Reaper the anguish so his job was done.

A hook flew out of nowhere and went through Edgar's chest and dropped him into the choppers his body parts body whipped and chopped into a million bite sized pieces and feel into the lump of Urabe's seasoning.

The madman got very much delighted at this. Chopped meat of a young Englishman with seasoning of a young woman. The butcher was indeed delighted and he mixed both of the ingredients together and started eating them.

The perfect meal. Chopped Edgar with Urabe Seasoning.

**-MINCED-**

* * *

**PS: WHY DA EFFIN HELL DON'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND WHAT 'ADDITIONAL INFO' MEANS EH?!**

**Fill in this form and send it to me by review or PM:**

**Target: **  
**Death Zone: **  
**Companion: **  
**Additional info:**

**IE or GO only. No Cronostone.**

**If you want it from any other anime or manga, check the list on my profile. But If you want from other anime/manga, It depends on how much I remember from them.**

**PS, Everything is fair between love, war, dating, business, marriage, assassination, and copulation.**

**PS, This one is too crummy compared to Urabe's and Fubuki's.**

**PS, This was supposed to be more focused on Edgar but I don't know If I was successful or not.**


End file.
